Ignorantia Affectata

Who am I to give advice on anything to anyone at any time? Considering where I am and have been for so long that people have moved on and convinced themselves there is nothing to be gained by listening. What could I, the lowly condemned, possibly have to offer or contribute that could be relevant in any way whatsoever?

How about some perspective?

Beyond your immediate sphere, your small bubble of ‘reality’, who or what is worthy of your attention? The few people you come into contact with on a daily basis, the even smaller amount you consider friends? What exactly qualifies as a friend to you?

Trust, Dedication, Reliability, Dependability, Integrity…

Compatibility, Endurance, Familiarity, Willingness…

As kids we think we know so much better about almost everything. Our parents surely can’t know what we have to deal with since they are so obviously out of touch with what we ‘know’. And who is that stranger that could possibly think they know anything?

My experience is that the ones you least expect to have any of the qualities of what a ‘friend’ is will in the end surprise you the most. Those that you think of and seek out as friends most often leave you disappointed at least, left to die at worst.

Is it that people can so easily move on by placing blame on another while ignoring their own failures, or is this behaviour on their part the crux of who they are?

They certainly don’t see it as such because their circumstances and ego don’t allow for the time needed to reflect on how one perceives.

With the capability to do so, and the ample time this experience has given me, I still can’t possibly determine what reasoning each individual uses to excuse their choice to neglect someone they once professed to care for, or love. ‘Friends’, ‘Family’, what does it mean? Do any of the previously mentioned qualities apply to either when you are abandoned? Are any of the things we are taught in church and home based in reality when those who instructed us in those things leave you to die alone?

I see people lose ‘friends’ and ‘family’ year after year because they never truly cared to begin with. Because what can you, the condemned, possibly have to offer them?

A perspective on what things can mean.

A reflective opinion on the cost of failure.

A clear perception on the difference between what you espouse as proper and what you show us in reality.

Here I sit, trying desperately to impart a lifetime’s worth of experience to my beautiful daughter who seemingly doesn’t care to listen to a thing I say. Failures and revelations make up that experience so who better to give the advice she doesn’t think she needs? After all, who am I to offer anything so important to her, much less anyone else.

I am her father and my only hope is that someday she realises at least I tried to be a better person for her.